Just need some sleep, right?

Hi Doc.Eye - Sleepless

Um, this might sound kinda weird, but I’m feeling….odd. Yeah, I know, I’m one of those guys who comes in with a “niggle, that i’m not quite sure what it is” heh! 🙂

Ok, let me explain. I have trouble sleeping. It’s starting to interfere with work. I keep being late, or falling asleep at my desk. I was chatting with a friend about it and he thought I should come and see you. I don’t want to take sleeping pills or anything, but he still thought I should come, for some reason, and yeah, to you specifically.

Well it’s been going on for a few weeks now. I mean, if I think about it it’s actually been on and off for a while.

A few years maybe.

Ok a definite date would be…………well now I come to think of it I’ve always had trouble like this, since I was about……10? Or 12? Maybe?

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What happens when I can’t sleep? Ummmmm, I just lie awake. Sometimes I get up, read a book, watch tv. Or listen to music.

No I don’t drink coffee late. At all really.

If I had to describe it I guess I just feel uneasy, or my head’s sort of busy, you know? Like i’m thinking a lot, or I can’t stop going over things. But that’s normal, everyone gets that. Just need to be a bit more I dunno, disciplined or something.

Well yes, you’re right, not everyone ends up getting into work at 10 because of it..but anyway, I think I just need to get some sleep.

I dunno how, warm milk maybe, a bath before bed. Diet. Exercise.

Yeah, I’ve tried these before but maybe they’ll work this time around.

I don’t really feel anything else when I can’t sleep. I mean, nothing out of the ordinary.

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Why am I breathing like what? Oh you mean the deep breath. Well I sometimes have to take because my chest feels tight. No, i’ve had it checked out, nothing to do with my heart!

Yeah i’m a bit nervous about being here. I’m always a bit nervous when I go to the doc, just a bit of a wuss i’m afraid!

Yes, I do feel like this at other times. Dentist, needles, things like that. The usual.

The last time? Well………actually I think I noticed it when I was driving here. But I guess that comes under going to the Doc! And before that when the post came, oddly.

No I didn’t open it.

I don’t know why not. Just….felt a bit….scary? Heh :), just need to get a grip, stop being a pussy. Scuse my language.

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Yeah I’m happy, why wouldn’t I be? Good life really. Good job, friends, place to live, money in my pocket, good health. Looks to die for ha ha! 🙂

Um. Everything’s fine.

No I never cry. Nothing wrong with it. I just haven’t. I don’t have anything to cry about, really, I mean life is good, really.

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I guess some mornings are worse than others, I haven’t really thought about it.

Well yeah sometimes mornings can be rough. Feel kinda heavy. Don’t want to get up, do work, but then who does!

I’m not sure why not, I mean I enjoy what I do. I like having a shower. It’s not that I don’t like these things. But sometimes it just seems…….I dunno. Too much? Or like, what’s the point? I dunno, just being lazy I guess.

I do feel tired, yes, but I wouldn’t call it fatigue. I mean, ok really really tired maybe, or like I can’t move, but not fatigue.

Well I just do it. I mean, what else can you do? I mean…….yeah it’s getting tougher I suppose but like I said, i’ve always been a bit lazy. Just need to be more strict with myself.

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You want me to fill out a form? Ok, sure, why not. Just the first answer that pops up? Ok

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Um, nothing’s wrong.

I’m just…uh…is this really necessary? I mean, even the first question is weird, don’t want you to get the wrong impression!

Ok I won’t think about it but like I said, it’s just the first thing that pops in.

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Another one? Ok.

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Ok, yeah I’ll do one more.

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I’m alright, just.. that………made me feel a bit weird. Just gotta shake it off, lack of sleep, you know how it is!

Yeah we can talk about the answers.

Look, I did say don’t take it seriously, I mean, of course I don’t always feel sad, its just the first answer that popped out at me.

Yeah, ok, fine, I got a little choked up on that one but I dunno, like I said, haven’t slept in a while so feeling a bit odd! Haven’t really got anything to be sad about, life’s good.

The sleep ones seemed more relevant.

Well…..no I haven’t had thoughts about harming myself. I mean, not really. When I was younger, maybe. But I was just being a drama queen. Can be like that sometimes, gotta watch that.

Yeah ok, fine, if you’re gonna include that I do wish it would all stop sometimes. Just….stop. Like, a switch. Ok, maybe I should’ve ticked that one. But I don’t want to make a big deal out if it, it really isn’t like that. I’m not going to do anything. Just random thoughts, not going to do anything, don’t worry!

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The feeling like nothing will ever change and everything’s hopeless? Well I’m just a bit negative, I know that can’t be true, it’s just me being a pessimist. Have to watch that.

Well yeah, it is odd, it’s like I know the reality of it, but, I still feel that way. Weird huh?

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Yeah, there’s this odd thing where nothing seems fun anymore. I get bored with everything. I’ll switch off a film halfway through, or just won’t feel like doing anything. Like it just doesn’t feel the same. It is a little weird now I think about it. Caught myself sitting staring at a switched off tv once, now you mention it. I think it just felt a bit…..sort of….blank? Or I felt blank? Or, like, everything? I’m sorry i’m being so vague but this is just normal stuff, just, how it is.

Look, this is just, stuff, it’s not like, i mean it’s not all that bad.

Well yeah, ok, if you took the answers out of context.

I don’t know what context. Life I guess. It’s not like anything bad is happening. Everything’s cool.

It’s all in my head, i’m just being negative, a bit down. I can be a bit of a sad sack if I’m not careful heh! 🙂 Just need to get some sleep, and get my arse moving in the morning. It’ll be fine.

Some people are just like that, just feel, kinda low all the time, it’s not that bad.

I just, you know, need some sleep.

Right?

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To be continued…

(possibly)

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